I was in the grocery store yesterday waiting in line at the checkout. The guy that got in line behind me {with just a basket, not a cart} scooched in oddly close to me–like there is “I’m in a line close” and “I could feel this guy’s breath on my neck close.” I was stuck too–I couldn’t create any distance between us because there was someone in front of me. The longer I stood there, the more I wanted him out of my personal bubble. I don’t think I have ever had anyone do that–which I am pretty sure is because there is some sort of unspoken rule about how much distance you put between yourself and the next person in line–like a personal bubble courtesy.
I high-tailed it out of the grocery store and when I was still thinking about it later that night, I decided to see if there actually ARE “rules” for personal space. {Read: I wanted to know if I should just chill out a bit, or if this guy was a weirdo.} Guess what? There actually are some standard rules of comfort as far as people’s personal bubbles go.
Here’s what I found:
Anthropologist Edward T. Hall studied personal space in the 1960’s and came up with four different levels for varying situations:
“Intimate distance – 6 to 18 inches
This level of physical distance often indicates a closer relationship or greater comfort between individuals. It often occurs during intimate contact such as hugging, whispering, or touching.Personal distance – 1.5 to 4 feet
Physical distance at this level usually occurs between people who are family members or close friends. The closer the people can comfortably stand while interacting can be an indicator of the intimacy of the relationship.Social distance – 4 to 12 feet
This level of physical distance is often used with individuals who are acquaintances. With someone you know fairly well, such as a co-worker you see several times a week, you might feel more comfortable interacting at a closer distance. In cases where you do not know the other person well, such as a postal delivery driver you only see once a month, a distance of 10 to 12 feet may feel more comfortable.Public distance – 12 to 25 feet
Physical distance at this level is often used in public speaking situations. Talking in front of a class full of students or giving a presentation at work are good examples of such situations.”
This guy was definitely teetering on being in my “intimate distance” category. And while I did find out that different countries have varying degrees of spacial needs, I also decided that the bottom line is that I need a lot to feel comfortable.
How much personal space do you need? Is it different depending on WHERE you are, say the grocery store versus baseball stands at your kids’ games?
~Mavis
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