Hospitals are the pits. Unless someone is having a baby, you typically find yourself in a hospital waiting room because of an illness, accident or surgery; not anyone’s idea of fun. Hospital waiting rooms are even worse. Or are they? If you find yourself playing the waiting game, here are some wildly productive ways to kill some time. Once you’ve implemented them, you might just want to kick back and stay awhile.
1. Count ceiling tiles. If the room you are in does not have ceiling tiles, relocate to a room that does. All you’ve got is time, right? {We do not condone looking for ceiling tiles in strictly off-limit rooms. Those rooms can be found by paying attention to the STAY OUT or AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY signs. Wouldn’t want you wandering into a sterile OR and getting sued or anything}. *My lawyer made me say that.
2. Drink stale coffee.
3. Wander to the vending machine. Look at each item and try to estimate how many laps you’d have to walk around the waiting room to burn off the calories in that particular treat. Buy a Kit Kat and then do walking lunges back to the waiting room, figuring that should suffice.
4. Speaking of lunges, walk some hospital laps. Get some exercise and maybe even challenge your brain. Most floors are like intricate confusing mazes, so it’s like the hospital wants to play a game with you. No need for a corn maze to get lost in when you have the Peds floor.
5. Host a Hospital Art Scavenger Hunt. You can even get some of the other waiting room patrons involved. Divide into teams. See who can find the calming ocean print first? Who will rapidly spot the glowing sunset pic? Who will be the lucky one to spot the vase of flowers before anyone else? Award prizes from the vending machine.
6. Drink stale coffee.
7. Read all the things. The entire book you brought. The day old newspaper on the coffee table. Every sign in the vicinity—even the fine print. The 6-month-old copy of Sports Illustrated. Might be the first time you’ve ever picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated, but that’s what hospital waiting rooms encourage you to do: try new things. Branch out of your comfort zone.
8. Give up on Sports Illustrated and head down to the overpriced gift shop to buy a new book. Leave with a beanie baby collection and a glass Precious Moments figurine.
9. Play the Alphabet Game. You’re in the only place on earth you can easily get “X” so you’ve got to take advantage of it. Those X-ray signs are everywhere.
10. Drink stale coffee.
11. Search for a bathroom. Get lost while searching and realize that the jokester hospital wasn’t done playing after all.
12. Take a few joyrides up and down the elevator. Prep the newbies riding with you before they head into the hospital. You’re the pro now. Show them around. Tell ’em where all the good candy machines are located. Share all your insider info with them. Be the hero.
13. Drift into a fitful sleep across the rock hard seats you’ve scooted together into a “bed.” Wake up to your handy dandy copy of Sports Illustrated stuck to your face. You now have an inky image of some guy named Rob Gronkowski plastered across your cheek. Rub the sleep from your eyes and head to the vending machine for breakfast.
Hospitals are awesome. Who knew?
~Mavis
For those of you who have asked or sent emails asking about my brother; he has stage 4 colon cancer and all I have to say about that is… it sucks. Cancer sucks. 🙁
Be thankful you are healthy. Do something nice for someone. You have no idea what the person standing next to you in the checkout line or at work is going through.
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