I’ll admit, I am a traditionalist. I think manners matter, and thank you notes are just an extension of manners. I always made my kids write thank you notes. Now, it is totally ingrained and I don’t really have to remind them. For the record, I don’t think it matters too much if it is a hand-written note or an email. I think the important part is that kids make sure to show their gratitude. It is an acknowledgement to the person who sent something. It lets them know that the gift arrived and that it was appreciated. With Christmas presents all unwrapped, now is the perfect time to teach your kiddos how to write Thank-you’s. That way, when their birthdays roll around, they’ll totally know the drill :).
Here’s a couple of tips to make Thank-you’s less of a chore and more of a courtesy:
- Keep your expectations age appropriate. When the kids were younger, I used to make them a template that they could fill in with their own words. We would print it out, fill it in and then send it. I was just laying the foundation for the year to come, and minimizing the whining that came from cramped crayon clutching little hands. The template would go something like this:
Dear XXXX,
Thank you for the _________. I really love it.
Love,
XXXX
- When I was younger, I always got thank you cards and stamps as one of my gifts. It was my mother’s not-so-subtle way of providing me the tools to get the job done. It was like an errand she didn’t have to run later. I say, just pick the cards and stamps up BEFORE the big gift-giving day {Christmas, Birthdays, etc.} so that no one has any excuses.
- As the kids get older, encourage them to follow a little more complicated template: Thank them for the gift. Tell them how they plan to use it. Tell them a little personal information {important for grandparents who live out of town}. Wish the gift-giver well. Reiterate thank-you. Sign off.
- If thank-you’s are painful, encourage kids to complete so many per day. Maybe 2 per day, with the goal of mailing them by Friday…or something like that.
- One year, in a moment of really high ambitions, I snapped pictures of my kids with each of their gifts. Then, we copied the pics into a word document and the kids typed their thank-you’s. We printed them off and mailed them. Relatives got to see the kids {with the gift they’d sent} and got a thank-you. They totally appreciated it. AND, the kids had a visual reminder as they typed their thank-you’s.
- Teach kids the art of evasion AND appreciation. Even if they don’t LOVE the hand-knitted booties great-aunt Gladys sent them, they can still appreciate the effort she went to and the thought behind them. Teach them to write a thank-you for the sentiment. Example: Thank you for the hand-knitted slippers. I know you must have put in a lot of time to make those, and it means a lot to me that you care so much. Also, I don’t know if you knew this, but my favorite color is blue, so how perfect that they are blue. {No lies, of course, only gratitude.}
- Show your kids how important it is by setting a time aside for it. You probably have your own thank-you’s to write. Set aside a time where you can ALL sit down and write them. Make snacks, turn on music or a family favorite movie, and get to work. You can make it fun{ner} and not completely painful.
- Get too busy to send thank-you’s? It’s never too late. Snap a picture of your child using the toy/clothing and send a thank-you months later. It is still better than nothing–and who knows, maybe the sender will appreciate seeing that it is getting used and totally forget that it is now July :).
Do YOU think thank-you’s are important? How did/do you get teach your kids to write them?
~Mavis
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