One Hundred Dollars a Month

A few days ago the HH and I were talking about how awful it is that Lucy can’t run around the backyard like she used to and how my desire to garden here at this property has really gone downhill the last few months. And especially how the whole situation is making me really, really, REALLY crabby.

I need dirt. I need privacy. I need my sweet little companion helping me dig and playing freely by my side as I dawdle around the backyard in the privacy of my own backyard.

If I don’t find a happy medium soon, I’m going to weigh like 424 million pounds.

A few days ago the HH suggested we get a fence. {He likes it here, the neighborhood is nice, the house is really coming together and he just wants his {perpetually} restless wife to be happy. I get it. I really do.

Fast forward to yesterday … Noon.

The doorbell rang. It was a man from the Stepford Snoopervising committee. Cameron the carpenter and John Voight were here again working inside on the master bathroom. So when the 5 committee {yes 5!} members arrived, I told Cameron and John Voight to stay inside and keep the {paper} shade on the window down…. so the committee couldn’t peek in.

They laughed… and remained hidden. Because HELLO… why attract attention to projects I didn’t get approval for. Right?

Oddly enough, not a single committee member commented about the fact that there were 50+ bright pink flamingos planted in my backyard. Or the fact that I had planted a side vegetable garden. {The HH said one of them must read my blog and doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction of acknowledging the plastic bird situation.}

Instead the committee was more concerned about if I had talked to my neighbors about installing a fence {on my property} “It would be a courtesy you know.”  or if we were approved for a fence, would I “plant something alongside the side property to soften the look of the fence. Because we do have a certified botanist on the committee if you would like some ideas.” 

Ummm…. Let me guess. He’d suggest I plant rhododendrons? Ya. I’ll be sure and get some free gardening advice. You bet. Sign me up. Blah Blah Blah, smile, wave yada, yada, yada.

Just approve me for a freakin’ fence so I can get back to playing in the dirt already.

So now we wait.

Will Lucy get to run around a play outside like dogs all over the world do every single day? Will Mavis get to plant something in the privacy of her own FENCED backyard without passerby’s asking questions?

Tune in next week for Mavis vs the HOA Part 5

The saga continues…